


House Party

by Tenebrais



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-12
Updated: 2010-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-10 12:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 12,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/99849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenebrais/pseuds/Tenebrais
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Rose gathers all of her friends in one place for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first serious fanfiction I wrote for MSPA. I made a conscious effort to hint at every pairing of the kids, because I enjoy doing things like that. Since this was back before the whole thing with the incest babies, that includes the John/Jade and Rose/Dave pairings, so bear that in mind while you read this!

We’re not accustomed to having guests at our house. I’ve never really had friends close enough to bring home for an afternoon, especially since our home is so difficult to reach. My mother doesn’t seem to have any friends at all herself. I’m not sure if she even leaves the house. So when I proposed to her the idea of throwing a party here, I was frankly surprised that she agreed. And so readily. Even when I quietly mentioned that it would involve everyone staying over for the night – maybe more – she was all too happy to oblige. I suspect she was hoping to sabotage it; she would certainly have enough chances.

 

Our house was the logical choice for the venue. Given the distance the guests would have to travel, we had to expect an extended stay. John and his father would certainly be accommodating, but their house would simply not be large enough to fit seven people (Jade would quickly correct me with eight, but frankly a dog does not require the same sort of sleeping arrangements). Jade’s house, while certainly large enough, is impossible to get to for any of us mere mortals. The Striders... no. Just no. So that left me and mom to house five (okay, okay, six) guests for two or three days.

 

I came to my mother expecting an argument, and she denied me even that. At every turn she finds new ways to irritate me. I questioned her about sleeping arrangements, almost trying to goad her into a fight. Not the wisest of tactics, I know, but I was lost in the heat of the moment. She brightly told me, without even considering the matter, that my friends could sleep in my room and the rest could stay with her. And there it was. The penny dropped.

“You are _not_ sleeping with my friend’s father,” I growled at her.

“Oh, don’t worry. That will not be an issue,” she replied, with a slightly smug smirk. I hate that smirk.

“Nor my friend’s brother,” I told her.

“The thought never even crossed my mind,” she said back. She managed to make it sound so sincere.

“And definitely not... ugh...” I couldn’t even bring myself to say that last thought.

“Really, Rosie? You should get your mind out of the gutter. It’s very unbecoming of a young lady.” And with that, she sauntered off. Rosie. She knows I despise that name.

 

This is going to be a disaster.


	2. Chapter 2

As the day approached, I was careful not to ask my mother for any favours. I knew that she would not comply – it was no secret that she considered this a _large_ favour for me, even if she wouldn’t admit it. The occasion started to loom over the household. Mom could be seen cleaning the house with increasing frequency, although with her it was closer to more evenly spreading the dust. I had to set myself the task of making the house actually look presentable. I wish I could have done something about the wizards. Nobody could consider those anything but an eyesore.

 

The day finally came. All of my friends knew when and where to arrive; all that remained was to hope there would be no severe delays in them getting here. Mother had conjured a dining table and chairs out of somewhere – I assume she bought them, but I never saw anyone bringing them in – and had set them up in a corner of the living space. She spent most of the morning preparing some extravagant dinner. We almost never have a home-cooked meal. I was even starting to look forward to it.

 

I, of course, had spent the morning making my room suitable for my friends to stay in. I had managed to scrounge two sleeping bags from around the house. I supposed they would have to do. Unfortunately, there was no third one, so someone will have had to share my bed with me. It’s certainly large enough. I could not think of who I would be willing to give that honour – frankly, none of them seem suitable – but I would have to cross that bridge when I came to it. Additionally, I hid some of my more personal artefacts, including this journal, as deviously as I could. John I could trust not to snoop around, but the other two? I am not particularly inclined to want to explain any of these things to Jade, and I am certainly not letting Strider see them. I would never hear the end of it.

 

The sound of a motor reached my ears. The unmistakable sound of a car, and one that was definitely not my mother’s. Guests! They rang on the doorbell. Our doorbell is a large church bell that my mother had installed in the ceiling of the living room. It’s impossible to miss up there. It also sounds very loud in my room. I know she did that intentionally.

 

I hurried to the front door, hoping to get there before mother did, but I was too slow. She seemed cordial enough, though, exchanging pleasantries with Mr Egbert. He had brought a bottle of wine, which she accepted with surprising grace. I had never seen a bottle of wine remain in her hand for so long without being opened. Standing behind his father was John, who spotted me and gave me a smile. He seemed somewhat intimidated. I suppose coming to an abode like my own when you’re used to a life in suburbia would be daunting.

 

I like John. He’s a simple and honest boy. Talking to him may not be especially stimulating, but it is fulfilling. He is the only one of my friends that I think I can go to for honest advice should I have a problem. Not that I ever need advice, as such. Although I could never quite understand his resentment towards his father. Certainly there’s no logical reason for it, and none of the deeper reasons that I know of seem to apply to him. I will have to research the matter further.


	3. Chapter 3

 Mother returned to her cooking. John’s father started to go around, looking at her wizards. The man seems remarkably good at faking an interest; you would even believe he actually liked them. John himself finally came over to talk to me.

 “You do know we’re having you over for a few days, yes?” I asked him. “Do you have a bag?”

 “Yeah, my suitcase is in the car. Dad said he’ll bring it in later,” he replied.

 “You drove all the way here?” I enquired, incredulously.

 “No, we rented a car from the city.”

My doubts assuaged, we began to chat. What with preparing for this event, I hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to any of my friends for a few days, and it was pleasant to catch up. John is always nice to talk to.

 

 We retreated to my bedroom after a little while – I would not trust my mother around my friends for very long, and John prefers to avoid his father. I still do not understand why – he is a pleasant enough man. I even asked if he’d like to trade parents, and he declined. Although given my mother that isn’t surprising.

 We got to playing chess. John took the white side; I played black, as I am accustomed to. At first I defeated him with a classic Fool’s Mate – even John should have been able to avoid that trap; perhaps he was not expecting such a simple defeat. Our next game was much more involved. I started to suspect that his first game was an attempt to lower my guard. He proved to be a much better player than I’d thought. I somewhat lost track of time during the game; I was reduced to just my king and two pawns, John, his king and a bishop. I had just managed to promote one of the pawns to a queen when the bell rang once again, sending the walls rumbling.

 

 This time I got to the door before Mom did. Jade was waiting eagerly, her dog not two paces behind her.

 “Rose!” she squealed as I opened the door and trapped me in a tight hug. I was caught completely off-guard. She then did exactly the same to John when she saw him. Jade is a lively and affectionate girl. It’s very had to feel depressed when talking to her; her cheer and enthusiasm are outright contagious. It is remarkably therapeutic. She doesn’t seem to get any human contact at all besides John, Dave and myself. Becquerel cares for her surprisingly well for a dog, but it is no secret that he is somewhat extraordinary.

 Jade, too, was not carrying a bag of any sort, and I couldn’t see any mode of transport that she used to get here. I asked her the same thing I asked John.

 “Oh, I don’t need anything,” she explained.

 “What?” was my reply.

 “Wait and see.”

 We paused for a few seconds. Then, before our eyes, her clothes changed. I was sure she had a blue skirt and a white shirt with an atom design on it. Now her skirt was grey, and she was wearing some ghastly Squiddles shirt. It was a little embarrassing that she likes watching such shows, but I suppose there is no one around to point that out to her most of the time.

 “Well, okay, you don’t need a change of clothes,” I said once I’d regained the power to comment, “but what about a toothbrush or something? Nothing to wash with?”

 “Toothbrush? Wash?”

 I was struck dumb. How does one respond to that? It was at that point I noticed the smell. This girl must never wash at all! How on earth does she cope? Come to think of it, how did Becquerel permit that? I thought dogs hating baths was just a stereotype.

 “You need a bath right now,” I commanded, frogmarching her to the bathroom. “You do know how it’s done, right?”

 “I’m not stupid, Rose,” she said, without her usual enthusiasm. In retrospect I hope she did not take it as an insult.

 I pushed her in and shut the door behind her. “Don’t come out until you’re completely clean!” I turned back and saw that her dog had followed her. It is surprising how accusatory a canine can look. Or at least how much so this one can look. “You’re complicit in this too,” I admonished him, my threatening tone diminished by the fact that Bec is larger than I am. He responded by simply disappearing. Frankly, nothing about the dog surprises me any more. I have the worst feeling that he went in there to bathe her.

 “That was a bit harsh, wasn’t it, Rose?” John asked. It was the first time he’d spoken since the door rang.

 “In this house, we have certain standards,” I responded as haughtily as I could manage. “Be honest, could you stand that smell?”

 “I liked it, to be honest,” he replied. “She smells pretty.”

 “You really need to get a girlfriend.”

 

What a great start. My mother hadn’t even had to do anything yet.


	4. Chapter 4

 While Jade was busy, John and I returned to our game. With the queen on my side, victory was all but assured. John managed to capture my remaining pawn, but when I managed to capture his bishop he had no choice but to resign. Nonetheless, well played, John Egbert.

 Our game complete, I packed away the chess set and we returned downstairs. John’s father and my mother were talking cordially about some trivial matter in the kitchen. I could scarcely imagine what insidious scheme she might have been implementing. John and I went and sat in the lounge area. I took out my laptop to check on the latest Midnight Crew update, which we started to discuss. He had some strange ideas about it and the fictional Doctor Brinner sub-comic being set in the same universe. But then I’ve written Spades-Itchy slash fiction, so who am I to judge.

 

Note to self: make sure my writing journals are especially well hidden.

 

 Jade emerged from the bathroom, looking considerably cleaner. She was also grinning widely. If there’s one thing I love about Jade, it’s that she could never hold a grudge. Half an hour later she’s forgotten whatever it is she was angry about.

 “Hi Rose! Hi John!” she called cheerfully as she charged toward us. “Am I better now?”

 She grabbed me in a hug again. I tried to catch her scent, but all I could smell was the faint smell of soap. She had really done a very good job. Her hair was still a mess, if now a rather damp mess, but it will be a long time before I try to tackle that monster. At least now I could satisfactorily eat dinner with her.

 “Much better!” I congratulated. Out of the corner of my eye, John looked slightly disappointed. Strange boy. His mood improved markedly when Jade moved over to hug him, though. She would spend the rest of our time together with at least one arm around one of us.

True to my suspicions, Bec followed her out. He gave me a look, as though he had seen my challenge and defeated me. I feared that earning his respect back would be considerably more difficult. Would an old dog harbour a grudge? Jade has implied that he’s even older than she is. It sounds like he has even accompanied her grandfather on some of his adventures, presumably as a pup. Just how old is he anyway?

 

 Later on, Jade showed us her computer. Her Lunchtop, she called it. I was stunned. It was some sort of hologram, commanded by some forms of waving her fingers that I couldn’t figure out. Once John and I had become accustomed to the system, we started to compare some of the things we had been working on. Jade presented some of the music she had written recently. John described some of his attempts at programming, since naturally he could not bring his computer. I wouldn’t dare share my writing, but I did show them some of my psychoanalytical notes for Dave. After all, he wasn’t around to object. It was his fault for turning up late.

 

 We whiled away the time, and the Strider brothers had yet to arrive. It was not until Mom had almost finished cooking and began to place food on the table that Dave and his brother rang. Except that ringing the doorbell would simply not be Dave’s style. He will never do anything the way it is intended. No, they had brought an old portable stereo, the sort that still took cassette tapes. His arrival was announced by a loud, obnoxious rap beat, with Dave free-styling over it. He had found what may well be the only worse way of announcing one’s present than ringing our doorbell. You have to credit him, though. It was certainly creative. Dave can be very annoying, made worse by the fact that he is well aware that he is annoying and continues regardless. Nonetheless, he has quite a wit, and really he’s a lot more intelligent than his image would convey.

 

 Dave’s brother switched off their stereo and left it by the door. The two of them took the two remaining spaces on the table. Finally, I turned to our meal. Mom had opted to cook a British-style Sunday roast. I cannot fathom the reason – for one thing, it was a Tuesday – but she had managed to pull it off better than I had expected. Roast pork, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, pumpkin (Dave informed me that that was more of an Australian thing; I don’t know how he found that one out) and Yorkshire puddings. She had even made a plate for the dog.

The meal was, actually, very good.


	5. Chapter 5

 After dinner, my mother suggested we do something together as a group, now that we were all here. Somehow the subject of Monopoly came up. Hoping to avoid a prolonged game, I pointed out that over the years we had lost most of the playing pieces for our game, and in any case with so many players a game would not be satisfying. John’s father said not to worry, as had brought his own much-loved copy of the game that he had bought in London several years ago. He promptly went to fetch it.

 This was perhaps the first sign that our guardians were collaborating here, which I found odd. How would organising things with them get at me? The other guardians wouldn’t try to ruin our fun; John’s father loves him too much, Dave’s brother respects him too much, and Jade’s dog is far too loyal to betray my friends. Hmm.

 

 It seemed I was the only one not enthusiastic about playing this game. It would not surprise me that John’s household would be too good an environment for him to have seen the crueller side of it. Jade is far too naive to imagine an argument breaking out. Dave and his brother practically live off competition and backstabbing. I tried to put on a cheerful face toward the game.

 We laid out both boards on the dining table, overlapping on the Free Parking space. Sixteen sets of properties, in total. More than enough for a prolonged game. Each of us took a playing piece, including Bec, who I began to suspect had played this game before. I was the iron. The game started well enough; within a few laps of the figure-of-eight everybody had gained something to work with. Dave managed to get Park Place and Boardwalk; his brother got Mayfair and Park Lane. Both of them refused to build anything on those properties. Sometimes they really take it too far; if I ever get drawn in to their bizarre games of irony, I am going to kill myself. Ironically.

 Jade was the first to lose. She had been mismanaging her money, building up as much as she could on Baltic Avenue without any really coming in. She lost what remained landing on one of my houses (specifically, Fleet Street). Dave’s brother was next, losing everything to Mom. By this point, Jade had fallen asleep, resting her head on Dave’s lap. I’m not sure if she intended to or not, but it was amusing. Even Dave seemed to think so. I was surprised that he didn’t take the opportunity to mess with her.

 

 The game wore on without major upset. We played for hours. By midnight, Dave, John’s father, my mother and I remained in the game. I was flagging; I had very little money left, but Mr. Egbert was coming up to my lucrative yellow properties. My turn came round, and I rolled the dice. Double four. Okay, I rolled again. Three and two. I landed on Mayfair.

Which my mother had built a hotel upon.

I hate Mayfair.

Losing all of my money to my mother (and thus losing the game) I let out a scream of frustration and fled to my room. So this is how she planned to do it; embarrassing me in front of my friends. I was no doubt in for more of this sort of ritual humiliation.

 

 I stewed in my rage for a few minutes, when my rather cathartic reverie was interrupted by Dave coming in. Presumably, he had lost soon after, leaving the two parents to wage war over this bizarre amalgamation of Atlantic City and London.

 “You alright, Rose?” he asked.

 “What do you want?” I spat at him.

 “You took that really bad. Something up?” He came and sat on my bed with me, which I begrudgingly permitted him to do.

 “Can’t you see? It’s my mother! Every time things start to go my way she gets involved to ruin it! Look how she humiliated me there!”

 “You sure she did it deliberately? I mean, she can’t have made the dice roll.”

 “Fine, take her side.”

 Dave rethought his strategy. “Rose, listen. Me and my Bro do this sort of thing all the time. It’s what bros do, you know? Always trying to get under each other’s skin. You just gotta roll with the punches, you know?”

 I sat up next to him and gave him a Look, but said nothing.

 “Listen,” he continued, “if you just flip out like that and hide in your room, it means your mom’s won. You want to let her win?”

 “No...” I responded, cautiously.

 “Well, show her you can handle that sort of shit. Prove she can’t get under your skin. Just take it like a man. Even if you’re a woman.”

 I sighed, and rested my head on his shoulder. “I’m being silly, aren’t I?”

 “Yeah, you are,” he said. Then, “but that’s how I like you.”

 

I later found out that Dave hadn’t lost; he’d resigned specifically to come up and comfort me. He’s annoying, but when he gets his act together, he can be a real gentleman.


	6. Chapter 6

 By 1AM, the eight of us came to the mutual decision that it was far too late for Mom and John’s dad to continue competing for the win. Thus, we called an end to it. The winner, decided based on how much money they had accrued, turned out to be Mr Egbert – I confess I suppressed a feeling of glee at the fact that Mom had lost.

 By then, John looked absolutely shattered. Jade also seemed tired, but I do not know whether that was due to the time or just part of her condition. It was impossible to tell with Dave – he never takes off those sunglasses, and he’s not energetic at the best of times. As for myself, I was definitely tired. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stay up.

 

 Our house is open-plan. While privacy is not difficult to find for the two of us, eight is a different story altogether. It didn’t prove to be that necessary, though. John and I took turns in my room to change into our nightclothes; Dave just took off his shirt, and Jade had whatever arcane contraption she has to change her clothes into bright blue Squiddles pyjamas. I was too tired to stop myself laughing. She was too tired to care.

 Once we were all suitably dressed and washed, we trudged into my room together to sleep.

 “John, you’ve got that sleeping bag,” I instructed, “Dave, yours is that one. Jade, you’re with me.”

 Dave snickered, but I ignored him as I climbed into bed. Jade and I could just about fit in it together without touching each other. Before settling into sleep, I sat up and looked around my room. At my friends, who were here with me, for the first time in our lives.

 “Guys,” I said, softly, getting their attention. “Nice to have you over.”

 “Nice to be here,” replied John.

 “Yeah,” whispered Jade.

 “What he said,” Dave murmured.

With that, I sunk into bed, and drifted off to sleep.

 

 I do not typically remember my dreams. On occasion, one will breach my memory, and they tend to have a theme. Or at least a common location. I have consulted as much psychoanalytical literature as I could find, and the fact that all of my dreams take place in a place that I have never been to seems to bear little relevance. Regardless, this dream stuck out in my mind, because this time Jade was there. I don’t remember why she was there or what we did together; I just remember her being there. Odd.

 

 I woke with a start. I’m not sure what woke me, whether it was something I dreamt or something I heard. Or felt. I soon noticed that Jade had her arms around me, hugging me in her sleep. I don’t think that was what woke me – by the feel of it, she’d been lying like that for a long time. I turned, careful not to disturb her, and looked at my clock. Quarter past four, give or take. It was then I noticed that Dave was missing. Okay, maybe he’d gone to the bathroom... but no, John was gone too. What were those two up to?

 I tried to nudge Jade awake, to see if we could hunt down the boys together. But no, she was completely out of it. I wish I could sleep as soundly as her, sometimes. Admittedly, only at those times when my mother is doing her best to annoy me in the middle of the night. Regardless, Jade wasn’t waking, and I didn’t want to go too far to try and make her. I wriggled out of her hold and crept out of the bed, and out of my bedroom.

 The lights were off in the living room, but there was still enough moonlight filtering through the windows to just barely see by. I could make out the image of Dave’s brother asleep on one of the sofas, and Bec was curled up in the corner. It’s easy to tell that Dave takes heavily after his “Bro” – the man was also sleeping bare-chested. Still, the elder Strider had a somewhat more toned, muscular form that was rather more pleasing to the eye. Dave often tells me that it is very hard to sneak anything past his brother, but as I came downstairs I found that hard to believe.

 Where could those boys have got to? I looked around the open living room, but there was no sign of either of them. I walked around checking more thoroughly, just in case. I looked in the bathroom, but they weren’t in there either (though I dread to imagine what they might be doing if they were). I took a glance at the back door, but they probably wouldn’t have gone outside. They were hardly dressed for going out in the cold, and by the looks of it, it was very cold. Besides, even if they had, I wouldn’t follow them. I was only in my nightdress after all.

 All possibilities downstairs eliminated, I climbed the stairs again. I knew they weren’t in my room. I paced up the corridor to where my mother sleeps – I have never been in there. I know they wouldn’t be able to get in. I have, in the past, tried to get into her room at night as part of some ploy to get back at her for whatever fiendish attack on me she had made most recently. She must have an impressive array of locks on that door. Two young boys wouldn’t be able to get through that.

 So that left the observatory. It looked like I would be going outside after all.

 

 I steeled myself and stepped out onto the walkway to the observatory. It was cold, but fortunately not windy. I quietly closed the door behind me and quickly headed into the other building. A calm, if cold, night. It would be some time yet before the sun would rise, and I have always loved the look of the starscape above. Well, on the side away from the city, anyway.

 As I snuck into the observatory, I could hear voices. Yes, that was unmistakeably them. They were whispering something, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

 “What are you two doing?” I demanded as I climbed the stairs. They both jumped and stuttered.

 “Well, we...”

 “Uh...”

 I raised my hand to silence them. “I know what you’re looking for, and you won’t find them. Just don’t bother.” I tried to sound detached, but it still disappointed me that my friends would be looking for the journals that I’d so carefully hidden from them. It felt like a breach of trust.

 “Sorry, Rose,” Dave said. “Didn’t know it meant that much to you.” I must have not been as good at hiding my disappointment as I’d hoped.

 “It was my idea,” confessed John. I didn’t quite believe him, but it was good of him to come to his friend’s aid like that. “I roped Dave into it. Sorry.”

 “Look, it’s nothing, okay?” I said, sharply. “Let’s... let’s just go back to bed.”

 

 We walked back together. None of us said anything until we were almost back at my room.

 “Rose?” John whispered, breaking the silence.

 “What?” I asked, turning towards him. He then hugged me.

 “I’m really sorry, okay? Don’t take it too personally. I was only curious.”

 “It’s okay, John,” I said. “Really.”

 He let go and went into the room. Dave then came up and gave me a hug too, to my surprise.

 “Just a bit of fun, you know?”

 “Well, next time try not to use something so personal for your games.”

 “Sorry.”

 

 I climbed back into bed. Jade automatically wrapped her arms around me. I decided to let her. It was only the end of the first day, and already I’d been hugged by each of my friends.

 I suppose this wasn’t that bad after all.


	7. Chapter 7

 I woke up at ten o’ clock – my usual time when I have no obligations of a morning. John and Jade had already woken up and left the room. Dave was still fast asleep. I didn’t want to wake him, so I took my clothes and headed out to the bathroom to prepare for the day.

 As I came out onto the landing, I noticed John and Jade chatting. It looked like they had had breakfast recently – there were empty bowls on the table. I didn’t know we even had cereal in the house.

 “Morning, Rose!” called out John when he noticed me.

 “Morning,” I called back wearily. I was still groggy from sleep.

 “Not dressed yet?”

 “Dave’s in there. He’s still asleep, but just imagine if he woke up in the middle of it. I’ll use the bathroom.”

 John nodded, then fell silent. If I could hazard a guess, I would probably have a fairly good idea of what was going through his mind. How rude of him.

 

 A short while later, I emerged from the bathroom, dressed, washed and having performed all the other rituals that one does in the morning.

 “So what time did you two get up?” I asked.

 “About an hour ago,” John replied. “Jade woke me.”

 “Well, I was lonely and I couldn’t find Bec,” she explained.

 Come to think of it, Mom wasn’t around either. Nor any of the adults, for that matter. I wondered what they were up to, but it was too early to worry about it. I’m never ready to think until I’ve had a croissant and coffee, so I went about making that happen.

 

 I came back with my breakfast to find John asleep on the table.

 “Now there’s a strange sight,” I commented as I prepared to eat.

 “He must be tired,” Jade said. An astute observation. “He came from a long way away after all.”

 I nodded, and swallowed a mouth full of croissant. “He was up late last night too. He can’t have gotten much sleep.”

 “You mean with the game?”

 “Later. Dave must have woken him up. They went looking for something.”

 Silence for a moment. “Oh! You mean your storybooks?”

 “They’re writing journals, not storybooks. But yes.”

 “Oh, I saw those. You’re a good writer!”

 I felt as though she had slapped me in the face. “What?”

 “The books under that loose floorboard the bed is sitting on, right?”

 “Okay, wait. How did you get under there without waking me up?”

 “It was the middle of the night. You weren’t in bed. You must have gone to the toilet or something.”

 Exasperated, I fell forwards and hit my head on the table, probably coating my forehead in flakes of pastry.

 “By the way,” Jade said, “what does ‘tumescent’ mean? You used that word a lot.”

I tried to will myself somewhere else. Anywhere else. Somewhere like the deepest, foulest prison guarded by hideous betentacled beasts beyond human ken. Fortunately, a distraction was provided in the form of Dave charging into the room screaming and brandishing half a sword. He got around the landing and halfway down the stairs before running out of momentum and realising nobody was going to attack him. He didn’t let his guard down until he had looked around the room carefully enough to ensure there were no attackers in hiding.

 

 “What was that?” Jade asked.

 “Huh?” Slightly dazed, Dave finally acknowledged our presence. “Oh, it’s this thing me and Bro do. He gets up before me and charges me when I get out of bed.”

 “Is that how your sword got broken?” I asked.

 “Yeah. Dude owes me a new one. Don’t let me forget to not let him forget that.”

 “That’s not a katana,” John said. Dave must have woken him. “That’s a ninjato.”

 “What’s the difference?” Dave asked

 “It’s shorter and straighter.”

 “Well, he owes me a katana.”

The issue resolved, Dave came and sat with us at the table. He stared at me for a second, then brushed the crumbs off my forehead.

 “So, what’s for breakfast?” he asked.

 “Whatever you can make yourself,” I replied, curtly.

 Grumbling a little, he got back up. He headed over to the kitchen and started rifling through the cupboards. He came across a particularly colourful box and stared at me again.

 “Honey-coated magma rocks? You like this stuff?”

 “I don’t know,” I replied. “What is it?”

 “It’s kids’ cereal. You have some.”

 “It’s delicious!” Jade chirped up.

 “To each their own,” Dave said. “Why do you have this in the house if you don’t even know what it is?”

 “I didn’t put it there,” I replied. “My mother is probably planning something with it.” I don’t know how children’s cereal can be put to use against me, but I wouldn’t put anything past her.

 

 Dave ultimately settled for toast, topped with jam. We always use jam instead of jelly. He seemed a little put out by that fact, as though I did not appreciate the irony of unusual uses for jelly. At the same time he seemed unsure whether it was that, or that I appreciated the irony and went one step further by not having any. For a boy who never shows his eyes, Dave’s face tells quite a tale.

Nothing else of much note occurred over the course of the morning. As noon approached, we had started to worry about where the adults were. Well, I worried, as this certainly meant that my mother was planning some insidious scheme to get at me, and was probably already in the process of implementing it. The others all seemed to trust their guardians too much for that.

 

 John wandered into the room bearing a note. “Guys!” he called. “I think I know where the others are.”

 “What does it say?” asked Jade.

John read out the note. “Dear all. We’ve run off! I had a hut set up in the forest for us to camp out in and relax while you children have fun doing whatever it is fourteen-year-olds do with their time. The fridge is well stocked so I know you can keep yourselves well fed over the next couple of days. Don’t worry about us, and have fun! John, your father says he is very proud of you. Dave, your brother says John’s father is a dork. Bec says arf. Signed, Mom.”

We spent a moment taking it all in. “Where did you find that?” I asked.

 “It was stuck to your mom’s door,” John replied.

 I pondered that for another moment, then went to fetch my coat. “Come on,” I said. “Let’s go.”

 “Go where?” asked Jade.

 “Isn’t it obvious? We’re going to crash their party.”


	8. Chapter 8

 I’ve never ventured far into the forest outside our house. My mother wouldn’t allow it, and in any case I’ve never had a reason to. Thus, this was as much an adventure for me as it was for the others.

 I dug out my backpack to carry the lunch that John and Jade made for our trip. I didn’t look at what they made, but they seemed quite pleased about it. I also packed some of the various items around the house that might be useful in the wilderness. Mom bought them for me, and she knows I don’t go out anywhere. Actually getting use out of the things would certainly show her.

 Dave volunteered the GPS function on his phone, eliciting a groan from myself and John. It took weeks for him to shut about that phone after he got it; we’d thought he was beyond that by now. Nonetheless, the navigational tool would be useful.

 All prepared, we left the house, locked the door, and ventured into the forest.

 

 The woods were darker than I had expected. Tall trees blocked out most of the light, despite it being gone noon. There were no paths or clearings that we came across. We started out travelling in a straight line in a random direction, but I think we must have veered from that route. It was hard to tell. Dave kept referring to his phone, but when asked where we were he declined to reply. I wondered what he was doing with it.

 By one o’ clock, we had all become quite hungry. We found a suitable fallen log, and sat down to eat. The two of them had made sandwiches. A lot of sandwiches, with a wide variety of fillings. Certainly far more than even the four of us could eat for one meal – they had been rather overzealous with the task of making lunch. Nonetheless, the food was appreciated. We ate heartily, and happily. By the time we were all full, I don’t think we had consumed even a third of the food packed. I hoped we wouldn’t be out long enough to need the rest.

 

 Our friendly chatting became increasingly terse as we headed what was probably deeper into the woods. I could not tell which way we were going. It was Jade who asked the pertinent question:

 “Are we lost?”

 Silence for a moment as we all turned to Dave. Finally, he explained what the problem was.

 “No signal,” he said.

 “Since when?” asked John.

 “Since we got under the trees, I think. Sorry.”

 “Sorry!?” I shouted. “You will be! Why didn’t you tell us?”

 “I thought I might be able to fix it.”

 “Oh, you insufferable-“

 “Stop that!” interrupted John. “Look, what’s done is done. Point is we’re here now and we need to find a way back. Let’s retrace our steps.”

 I did what I could to calm myself down. I’ve got angry at Dave before, and I got over it. However, he has never got me lost in the woods before. I don’t know what sort of things could be living in here.

 

 We followed John’s advice and started heading back the way we’d come. Unfortunately, the forest was still difficult to navigate in a consistent direction. We also seemed to have not left any trace on it as we came in, making it difficult to track our past selves. That, or we had veered off course completely.

 John looked quite concerned about all this. Dave looked worried and also guilty. I dread to imagine how I must have looked. Jade, though, was taking it all in her stride.

 “You’re awfully calm about all this,” I commented to her.

 “Oh, I knew this would happen.”

 “Why didn’t you try to stop us, then?”

 “I tried to make something I’d seen not come true once, a long time ago. Didn’t work out.”

 “What happened?”

 “I’d rather not talk about it.”

 I dropped the subject. Noon was long gone by now, so the sun was definitely in the west. We could navigate by that and keep a fairly straight bearing. If only I had thought to take note of where it was relative to us on the way out. Well, it would have been overhead anyway. At one point I looked through my bag for a compass, but couldn’t find one. I thought I had packed it. Oh well, the sun would do for now. At least until night fell.

 

 As the sky grew dark, night would fall quite soon.


	9. Chapter 9

 Dusk rushed toward us. As we stopped to eat, it occurred to me that Jade intentionally prepared far more food than we could eat. She knew it would be needed. What surprised me was that she managed to rope John in to join her. He doesn’t seem to have any idea that she can see things that will happen. I do wonder how she got it past him. But then, for all I know, he can do the same thing. Perhaps he is hiding it from me. No, that seems a little far-fetched.

 

Hah. One of my closest friends is precognisant and I’m considering what is far-fetched.

 

 We travelled as far as we could while there was still a little bit of light. Through the trees, we could barely see anyway, but the sun was still a little visible. I had torches in my bag, but none of us wanted to venture through the forest by torchlight. There was no denying it now. We would have to spend the night out here.

 “So what now?” Asked Dave.

 “We can’t go any further,” I responded. “I think we’re all agreed on that. We’re going to have to camp out here.”

 So we did. I hadn’t brought anything to sleep on, not expecting to be out here for so long. We all had our coats to sleep on or under, though, except for Jade. I don’t think she has a coat. It’s not as though the weather will ever be particularly cold where she lives.  She instead insisted on sleeping with me again. “You’re warm,” is all she said when I asked why. I suppose that would be enough of a reason. I can’t say I wasn’t glad for the companionship – though I’d never tell anyone that.

 

 “This is it, isn’t it?” John moaned, around half an hour after the sun set. “We’re gonna be trapped here forever.”

 “Don’t worry, John!” said Jade. She already had her arms around me, absorbing precious body temperature. “We’ll get out of here. I know it!”

 “I wish I had your rose-tinted glasses.”

 I felt her shift behind me and play with my hair a little. I think she must have peered out through it, because it got a laugh out of John and even Dave. I smiled a little, but it wasn’t the first time I had heard that pun.

 

It wasn’t comfortable, but at last we got to sleep, huddled against the elements.

 

            *           *           *           *           *

 

 I don’t know if I’ve ever woken with the sunrise before. I gently freed myself from Jade’s grip again, and went to look out into the forest. It was still quite dark, and I couldn’t see very much. It was cold, but I would have to put up with that – Jade was still sleeping on my coat.

 

 It was there, huddled against the cold early in the morning in May, that I realised just how dire our situation had become. And, simultaneously, how pathetic. We were lost in the forest that I had lived in for most of my life. Our families weren’t expecting to see us for a few days, and we had no way of contacting them. We had only enough food to last us the rest of the day.

 We were going to die out here.

 

 I think I started to cry.

 

 I don’t know how long I was sitting there, wallowing in my despair. I was brought back to reality when John placed his coat over my shoulders.

 “What’s got you down?” he asked, sitting next to me.

 I sighed. “We’re stuck here. I don’t know how we can get out. We’re going to die and it’s all my fault.”

 He pulled me into a hug. I didn’t return it, but I didn’t stop him either. “We’ll be fine,” he said. “We’re not going to die. We’ll get out alright. Just look out for the trees.”

 “What?”

 “Huh?”

 “What’s that about the trees?”

 “They’ll lead us out of here.”

 “How do you know that?”

 He thought for a moment. “I... don’t know.”

 I smiled. “You’re starting to sound like Jade, you know.”

 “I hope not. I don’t have the figure to carry off her voice!”

 That got a laugh out of me. He’d made a mess of whatever joke he was trying to make there, but a drowning man will clutch at straws. He’d given me some hope. Of course we weren’t going to die here! The forest doesn’t go on forever. We will keep searching, and we will get out of here.

 

It wasn’t long before everyone else got up. We ate our breakfast – the sandwiches were starting to run out – and headed into the forest once again, with renewed vigor. At least on my part.

The view got clearer as the sun got higher. This time I kept track of our direction – we were heading west, away from the sun. Would this lead us home? I had no idea. But at least we were keeping a consistent direction. We would either end up home, or outside somewhere, from where we could _get_ home.

 

 We wandered for an hour or so, when John stopped us. “There it is!” he cried. I looked where he was pointing. An arrow had been carved into the tree trunk.

 “What’s that mean?” Dave asked.

 “I think it means our way out,” I replied. “Let’s see where it points!”

 We followed its direction into the forest, to come across another, pointing in a different direction. We followed that to reach a third. Then a fourth, and a fifth. By the sixth I was starting to wonder if they were leading us in circles, but by the seventh destination...

 “It points up,” said Jade.

 I followed her gaze into the treetops. There was something up there; something that was not a part of the tree. Boards. I looked around further – there was a treehouse.

 We had found it.

Dave noticed that this particular carving was not a part of the tree bark; it was a button, and he pressed it. A platform lowered from the branches. We climbed onto it, and it rose, taking us in.

 All this happened without anyone uttering a word. We found what we’d come in here to find in the first place. We came here to crash the parents’ party, and that was what we were going to do. It would start with sneaking up on them.

 

 Unfortunately, our plans of giving our parents (and Dave’s brother) an unpleasant shock were not to be realised. They were nowhere in the building. This must have been the place they were hiding out – there were several well-stocked drinks cabinets, three beds and a dog basket, and all manner of other items indicative of their interests. Just no adults.

 All that we could find was a platform in a room to itself. It was decorated with a triangle pattern, but otherwise quite plain. What purpose could it serve?

 “Oh, I know what this is!” piped up Jade. She hopped onto it, and gave us a wave as she vanished.

 We paused in shock for a moment, when Dave tentatively stepped onto the platform himself. He, too, disappeared. John followed in turn. Finally, with nothing left for it, I stepped up and braced myself.

 

 There was a strange sensation of every particle in my body gently drifting apart, then coalescing. I arrived back in the house, in a room I’d never been into before. It had a similar platform, and the walls were lined with alcohol. Mom’s wine cellar? I wouldn’t put it past her to have several hidden away throughout the house. Though I’d never found any.

 

There was a note taped to the door.

 

 Dear Rose,

 I knew you would come looking for us. That is why we are not, in fact, in the forest. No, I shan’t tell you where we really are.

I know it is fun, but seriously now, find a more productive use of your time. I could scarcely imagine what I would do if you got lost in the forest again.

Signed,

 Mom.

 

MOOOOTHEEEERRRRRRR!!!


	10. Chapter 10

 E, O and A. J, P, R and Y. That loose “Destiny” was inviting. Triple word score. But my turn would have to wait. Dave had to go before me, and it was Jade’s turn.

 “’Cruxtruder’ isn’t a word, Jade,” Dave said.

 “Is too!” she insisted.

 “What is it, then?”

 “It extrudes cruxite, duh!”

 I sighed. This was the third time this had happened. Jade has a very lively imagination. At least, I think it’s her imagination – given her startling sense of the future, who can be sure? Nonetheless, cruxite and cruxtruders certainly don’t exist yet. John was already leafing through the dictionary again. One has to admire his patience.

 “Crutches, crutter, crux,” he read out. “No cruxtruder. Sorry, Jade.”

 “Darn!” She pulled in her tiles, leaving Crux as she had found it, and tried to find some other way of assembling them. “I’m sure it’s a word... I know it is...” she looked visibly upset. I tried to signal to John to give her some comfort, but he didn’t seem to notice.

 “Okay... tread. Six points.” John noted down her score. She was still in last place by a fair margin.

 “Alright you all watching real close?” Dave burst out to a rhythm in his head. “’cause I’ll take Destiny’s D and make it sweet.”

 Every tile he lay down was like a nail in my coffin.

 DOGGING.

 It took every ounce of self-control I had to not strangle him then and there.

 

 At the end of the game, Dave won. John followed, and I was in third. Bastard. I’d have won it if it weren’t for him.

 I know I shouldn’t be getting so worked up over a game, but after what Mom pulled with the forest, tensions were high. Or, at least, I was annoyed. Everyone else seemed to be taking it in their stride. This, somehow, made it all worse.

 Jade approached me. “Um, Rose? Can I talk to you? ...in private?”

 “Alright,” I replied, as we retreated to my room. I wondered what she wanted to ask me that the boys wouldn’t hear. Perhaps... oh god. I wouldn’t have to give her The Talk, would I? I mean, she’s fourteen, surely she... no, that can’t be it...

 I had thought myself into a hole. Feeling very apprehensive, I closed the door and we both sat on the bed.

 “Rose,” Jade asked. “Am I mad?”

 I was completely thrown. I wasn’t expecting that. In retrospect, I probably should have.

 “What makes you say that?”

 “I know these words that don’t exist. I know what these things are! I could draw a picture of an alchemiter! And I’m sure I’ve seen a cruxtruder before. But there’s no such thing...”

 “You see the future, don’t you? Maybe they just don’t exist yet.”

 “Well that’s the thing! I can see the future. And I thought I knew why, but after meeting John I don’t know any more. He’s so normal.”

 “Why John?”

 “He should be able to see the same things I can. He hasn’t woken up yet. Or I thought so. But meeting you guys he just seems so normal and I don’t think I’m really seeing what I think I’m seeing and... and...”

 She started to cry. “You wouldn’t understand.”

 “You’re right, I don’t understand.” I put my arms around her, trying to comfort her. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care.”

 She sniffed, but didn’t say anything.

 “Listen,” I said. “I don’t think you’re mad. You’re strange, in a lot of ways, but by all the textbooks and tests I’ve got there’s nothing wrong with you, given everything about you.”

 I held her closer, and continued. “Besides, even if you were mad, I wouldn’t think any less of you. You’re a great friend, Jade. I’m sorry I don’t say it much.”

 She stayed silent, but started to hug me back.

 “I know we’re not very good at showing it – especially Dave – but we all love you for your weirdness. You’re the reason we met in the first place. How could you possibly be mad after that?”

 She tucked her head under my chin – no easy task, given her height – and nuzzled me a little. “Thanks, Rose,” she whispered.

 “Don’t mention it,” I soothed. “It’s probably my fault that I even need to tell you this.”

 

 The moment was probably spoiled a little when she fell asleep there and then. I sat there, still holding her. I didn’t want to let her go.


	11. Chapter 11

 There are ways of dealing with every patient.

 It must be quite overwhelming for Jade. She gets very little human contact – only her grandfather, and I’m not entirely sure that he’s even alive – so meeting us in person would be quite a shock. What she said earlier gave me something to think about. John was too normal? For what?

 I would like to say I had considered the matter and come up with a logical and rigorous conclusion regarding what she was talking about, and presumably the source of her predictions. But I did none of this. I had become too concerned with the girl who had just poured her heart out to me, sobbing, and then fell asleep. It was some time before I finally released her and let her rest comfortably on my bed.

 While I waited for her to awaken again – I didn’t want to leave the room in case she thought I had abandoned her – I pondered how to deal with her. She is a very physical, touchy-feely sort of person (though it pains me to use such uninspired language) and hugging her earlier calmed her considerably. That seems to be the best tactic to use in this case: give her the human contact that she clearly needs.

 

 She looked as though she was sleeping deeply. I took my laptop over to the bed and sat next to her. As it started up, it occurred to me to wonder why I had opened it. It was a natural reaction for me. If I ever had nothing to do I would go online and pester my friends. But that was unnecessary now.

 As I came to reconsider, the laptop finished loading. And I was reminded that there was one friend who was not present with me.

 If you could call it a friend. I’m still not entirely sure.

 “You Two Look So Cute Together”, read the viridian text that had just come up. “You Would Make A Good Couple.”

 “Please let us not go down that road,” I typed in response.

 “As You Wish. How Has Your Gathering Progressed? You Were Anticipating It Greatly.”

 “You could probably tell me that yourself. What about you? How was your last five minutes?”

 “Actually, I Have Watched The Four Of You Interact For The Last Half Of A Human Hour. Your Species Is Strangely Entertaining.”

 “Isn’t that rather a waste of your time?”

 “I Have Little Else To Do. You Are The Ones Who Are Late.”

 “Right. Are you ready to tell me what that means yet?”

 “As I Have Mentioned Before, To Tell You Would Be To Ruin Everything.”

 “Then why bring it up again?”

 “We Are Taking Steps To Rectify The Situation.”

 “And I know you’re not going to explain that either.”

 “Correct. Do Not Fear, Your Mother Shall Return To You Soon.”

 “Wait. What? What do you mean?”

 “Oh, I Believe I Am Being Called Away. I Will Speak To You Later, Rose.”

 

GrimAuxiliatrix logged off. I still haven’t found out her real name. Or, as yet, what she thinks we’re late for. Or even if it’s a she. The whole group of them are an enigma. What was she referring to about Mom? Did she know where they’d gone?

 

 Jade stirred beside me. I quickly closed my laptop and slid it under the bed, out of the way. Some of the other trolls might try to disturb me on it, but I would be too busy with my friends to reply by then.

 “Hey, Jade,” I said to her as she opened her eyes. “Feeling better?”

 She smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Rose.” She pulled me into a hug. “Thank you for caring.”

 I hugged her back. “Jade, anyone who wouldn’t care about you is someone I don’t want to be associating with.”

 I think this boosted her confidence. She hugged me tighter still. Proving I can never know what to expect from her, she licked me cheek.

 “Uh... Jade?” I asked. “Please don’t do that.”

 She pulled away again. “Sorry. I guess I’m still not good at being normal.”

 “Didn’t I tell you earlier?” I asked as we both got off the bed. “We love you for your weirdness. Still, if you want to be more normal...” I thought for a moment. “You should speak to John. He’s the most normal of the three of us, I think. Perhaps he’ll rub off on you.”

 She smiled, glad to have some route to being more normal. “I think I’ll go do that.”

 She hugged me one more time before going back out to meet the boys again.


	12. Chapter 12

 I followed Jade out into the main room. Before I knew it, she’d grabbed John and skipped outside merrily. Dave was left tapping out messages on his phone.

 “You can’t go five minutes without getting it out, can you?” I asked him as I came to sat with him.

 “A guy has needs, Rose,” he said automatically. “What’d Jade want?”

 “You know I’m duty-bound to keep that confidential,” I responded, after a little consideration. I could almost feel him rolling his eyes behind those dark glasses. “What are you doing on that?”

 “You know I’m duty-bound to... oh fuck it it’s a troll.” He didn’t seem to have his usual energy.

 “Don’t tell me that one’s actually getting to you.”

 “This one? This one’s a hack. Look!”

 He thrust his phone in my face. On the screen was a poorly-written rap about time by someone who had apparently left their caps lock on.

 “I think I recognise the style,” I said.

 “I’m just putting this guy in his place.”

 I waited for him to finish. Dave isn’t nearly as fun when he doesn’t have the energy for banter. Which, fortunately, is very rare.

 “What do you think they mean, Dave?” I asked.

 “About what?”

 “About us being ‘late’.”

 “Hell if I know.” He leaned back on the sofa, far enough that he might as well have lay down.

 “It’s bothering you, isn’t it,” I said.

 He gave me a look that would probably have been a great deal more revealing if I could have seen through his sunglasses.

 “Am I wrong?” I asked. Dave sighed and stood up, turning to look out of the window.

 “Do you ever get the feeling that something happened that shouldn’t have? Or... didn’t happen when it should?” He asked. This was unusually deep territory. Or at least unusually blunt.

 I considered his question. “No, I don’t think so.” This seemed to disappoint him.

 “Maybe it’s just me, but something isn’t right. And I don’t know what. Maybe I’m just crazy.”

 “Oh, no,” I interrupted. “We are not going down that road. You’re not crazy.”

 “Yeah, you’re right. Though that’d be pretty ironic, don’t you think?”

 I couldn’t help but laugh. It looked like Strider was finding his stride again. That was good. Something is seriously wrong if Dave Strider loses his confidence.

 “Say, you got anything to eat up in here?” he said, heading to the kitchen with an abrupt change of subject. “Gotta get some snacks inside me.”

 “You’ve been here for two days, Dave. You should know by now.”

 “Only one, really, if you don’t count all that time in the forest.”

 “And whose fault was that?”

 “The one who dragged us all out there in the first place?”

 “An interesting denial of personal responsibility, possibly indicative of a lack of self esteem. Do go on.”

 “Man, don’t get all psycho-therapist on me just ‘cause you can’t handle being wrong.”

 I smiled. These were the moments I lived for.


	13. Chapter 13

 I considered Dave’s home situation. He lives with only his brother. He never speaks of his parents; all I know about them is that they’re not at home. I’m not sure if he even knows who they are. Or were. I’ve tried to breach the matter with him in the past, but each time he rapidly changed the subject to something else. Or simply stopped talking. He is very much not used to the idea of a family, and I think the notion discomforts him somewhat.

 

 He had managed to find some bacon in the refrigerator, and was frying it. I had retrieved my laptop and was pretending to do something; I had no particular goal in mind but I did not want to give the young man any more attention than was necessary.

 “You want some, Rosie?” Dave called. “You know you love my meat.”

How did he find out about that name.

 “Don’t push yourself,” I responded. “You haven’t got enough there to fill me.”

 He didn’t respond. It was never normal for him to not have something to say.

 “Are you alright?” I asked, looking toward him. He groaned and clutched his forehead. I ignored him – it had been a trying few days and it was no wonder that he might get a headache. He could handle it.

 At least, I had thought so, until he cried out and collapsed.

 

 Unfortunately, I panicked. I called for John and Jade; they must have not heard me. I shouted, I prodded him; I even tried to splash water onto him. It didn’t work – he was out like a light.

 Eventually, I managed to calm myself. I could deal with this. I am the calm, collected one, after all. I’m the Seer.

 ...why did I think that?

 I checked Dave’s breathing. He seemed fine. As far as I could tell, he had merely fallen asleep, albeit a deep sleep. He didn’t seem particularly injured by his fall, at least. I dragged his unconscious body over to the sofa and tried to make him comfortable. If nothing else, he wouldn’t have anything to hold against me when he woke up.

 I was still worried. What if I were wrong? What if he’d fallen into a coma? My instincts said he would be fine, but... it was times like this that I wished Mother were around. She might be vindictive and calculating, but she would help me here, if nothing else. Worse, her absence made me cautious to show any sign of weakness. I could not bear to have her return home to find that I had managed to hospitalise my friends, necessarily or no.

 So I did nothing. I waited for Dave to come to. I whiled away the minutes on my computer, my gaze repeatedly falling upon him. It relieved me somewhat to see him twitch and stir in his sleep, but he didn’t wake up.

 

 Eventually, I relaxed enough to see to the bacon he had been cooking. It was a little burned, but it should be edible. I could probably do no better even in normal circumstances. I took some slices of bread and made sandwiches, leaving them on a plate on the table by his head.

 He had started to murmur in his sleep. It was mostly too mumbled to understand, but I picked out a few words. “Cal” came out a few times – I think that’s his brother’s puppet. He mentioned Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, the characters from his comic. I think I heard him mention “Derse” several times, whatever that is. There were a lot of nonsense words like that.

 He said my name. This caught my attention abruptly. As I watched, he started to open his eyes, and stretched out a little. Slowly but surely, Dave woke up.

 “Whoa,” he said, blearily. “What just happened?”

 It wasn’t until I started to reply that I realised I’d been holding my breath.


	14. Chapter 14

 John and Jade returned, eventually. They must have wandered far to not hear my calls for help earlier; that or they were making a lot of noise somewhere.

 “So what were you two up to?” I asked.

 “Just chatting,” Jade said, airily. “What about you?”

 “I fainted,” Dave said. This came as a surprise to everyone, including me – I didn’t expect him to admit it.

 “Oh gosh! Are you okay!?” Jade instantly knelt by the sofa he was still lying on.

 “What happened?” John asked.

 “I’ll explain later,” Dave replied. “Actually... Jade, I wanna talk to you about this.” He looked up at John and me. “Do you two mind?”

 “Alright,” I said, dragging John back outside. I stopped once we were out of earshot of Jade and Dave.

 “What-“ John started.

 “He just wants her to give him attention,” I interrupted. “You know how she admires him.”

 “No, what were you talking about with her earlier?”

 “Oh. I probably shouldn’t tell you that. Why?”

 “She was acting weird just now. Like she was watching everything I was doing.”

 “Ah, I told her that you would probably be the best role model for being normal.”

 John gave a sort of nervous laugh. “Really? You think so?”

 “Yeah. Better than me or Dave, at any rate.” He smiled contentedly at this.

 

 We stood in silence for a moment, looking out over the garden. Jaspers’ mausoleum was visible some way down, but the rest of the space was very empty. Mother was very adamant about not putting any fixture in the garden that might have kept me entertained as a young child. John really should feel luckier about having the father he does – I’ve seen pictures of his garden, and it is exactly the sort of space I always wished I had had. Mr Egbert had even managed to acquire a pogo ride themed to John’s specific tastes, which cannot have been easy. I envy him.

 “Rose? Are you listening?” John’s voice registered to me.

 “Hm? Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

 “I said we heard you calling earlier, and Jade said to stay here.”

 “Huh. That doesn’t seem much like her. I suppose she had her reasons.”

 “What kind of reason would she have? I mean, I did what she said, ‘cause I didn’t really know what else to do, but...”

 “She must have known this would happen. I guess it was for the best?”

 “You’re not making sense, Rose. You can’t see the future.”

 I sighed. Despite his obsessive interest in the paranormal, and the fact that he seems to click with Jade better than anyone, he is completely oblivious to her ability to see things that have yet to occur. She doesn’t even try to hide it.

 

 The next minute or so was something of a blur. I knew John was talking to me, and I think I was responding, but I couldn’t focus. Everything seemed somewhat dreamlike, as though the world around me wasn’t quite real. Then a piercing headache – more severe than any I had had before. Every sense I had was screeching at me, and I felt that my soul were being torn from my mind by one of the fouler servants of the Outer Ring. I faintly heard John shouting before my mind’s eye lost all connection with reality.

 

 Flashes came to me. A pastel-colored ocean bathed in light. A violet city, swarming with dark agents. A laboratory on an asteroid. A chequered battleground, like some kind of lifelike chessboard. A ghostly apparition of Jaspers, who for some reason had tentacles. John. Dave. Jade. Finally, I saw a darkened room. My consciousness hung here for a moment, as though I were really there. I saw children – well, about our size, but they had grey skin and orange horns. Just for a moment, I thought I saw my mother, before I awoke in reality once again.


	15. Chapter 15

 I woke to find John crouched over me, visibly worried. Either he’d been trying to wake me up or he found my unconscious form to be a particularly comfortable cushion. I am inclined toward the former.

 “Rose! Are you alright? You fainted!”

 “I know, John,” I replied. “Well. I’m not sure if it was really a faint.”

 “What happened?”

 “I saw things. Like some sort of really vivid dream. I saw places I’ve never seen before. Impossible places...”

 John helped me into a sitting position, then sat down beside me.

 “You mumbled things,” he said. “What did you dream of?”

 “Hard to say. I didn’t see anything for very long. But it felt more... _real..._ than reality. Hmm. We’re late for something...”

 “What?”

 “You know, what those trolls have been saying? It must be related.” I spotted someone walking toward us. “Oh, hi Dave. Wait...”

 It was Dave. And yet it wasn’t. He looked... older. A little. Maybe a couple of months at most, if he were living hard. And he hard much sharper clothes on than when I saw him a few minutes ago.

 “You’re not Dave,” I said.

 “Am too,” not-Dave replied.

 “You look like him,” John said. “Who are you?”

 “Told ya. I’m Dave. Maybe not the Dave you know.” He crouched down to me. “What’d you see, Rose? Tell me everything. Though I bet I could tell you.”

 “Go on then,” I challenged. “Tell me.”

 “A psychedelic sea. A purple city. A chess planet. Am I warm?”

 “Dead on,” I mused. “But you can’t be the Dave that just had that same vision.”

 “Nope. Like I said, I’m not your Dave. I came back to fix things... guess I failed.” He looked toward the house. Following his gaze, Jade and _our_ Dave were walking out to find us. “Better go,” he said quickly, retrieving a pair of hovering turntables. With a scratch, he vanished.

 “What the _fuck?_” exclaimed John.

 “I think I’m starting to get it,” I said.

 “What do you mean?”

 “I’ll explain later.” I called out to Jade and Dave. “Hey, over here!”

 I walked over to meet them.

 “You alright?” Dave asked.

 “I am now. I saw what you saw, Dave. It happened to me.”

 “So what are you going to do?” Piped up Jade.

 “Get some answers. Come on.”

 

A moment later we were in my bedroom. I had my laptop open on my desk, and was waiting.

 

_carcinoGeneticist has come online._

This was the time.

 

 “Alright,” I typed, “time for you to explain.”

 “BEEN WAITING LONG ENOUGH,” came the response. “GOD DAMN. WHY IS YOUR SPECIES SO BAD AT PICKING OUT WHAT IS WRONG?”

 “You said we were late,” I continued, ignoring him. “Late for what?”

 “LATE ENTERING.”

 “What does that mean?”

 “YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW YET. YOU’LL KNOW IT WHEN IT HAPPENS. IF IT HAPPENS. IT’S NOT JUST YOU, IT’S YOUR WHOLE PLANET.”

 “The planet is going to enter something?”

 “NO. GOD DAMN. LISTEN. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A GAME CALLED SBURB?”

 I thought for a moment. “I think so. There was some hype about it, but it got cancelled at the last minute for some reason. What’s that got to do with it?”

 “EVERYTHING. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PLAY THAT GAME LAST YEAR. BUT YOU NEVER GOT IT. YOU NEVER ENTERED. WE THOUGHT THIS WOULD HELP US BUT IT JUST SCREWED US OVER EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IF IT ALL WENT PROPERLY.”

 “What do you mean?”

 “I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU MORONS SO MANY TIMES BEFORE THE TIMELINE SHIFTED. I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT AGAIN. IT DOESN’T MATTER RIGHT NOW ANYWAY.”

 “Why not?”

 “WE SPOKE TO YOUR GUARDIANS. GAVE THEM SOME OF OUR COPIES. YOU GUYS ARE ALL GOING TO GO HOME. THEN YOU WILL PLAY THAT GAME. THEN HOPEFULLY WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WON’T BE TOO DIFFERENT TO HOW IT SHOULD HAVE GONE. IF I’M REALLY LUCKY YOU’LL ALL HAVE GROWN UP ENOUGH TO BE LESS STUPID ABOUT IT ALL. BUT THAT DOESN’T SEEM LIKELY.”

 “That’s as good an explanation as we’re going to get, isn’t it.”

 “YES. NOW GO DOWNSTAIRS. THEY’RE WAITING FOR YOU.”

 

 True to his word, John’s dad, Dave’s brother, Bec and Mom were waiting in the living room downstairs.

 “We’re back!” my mother called up cheerfully.

 We went down the stairs. Jade ran up to her dog and hugged him tightly. John’s dad ruffled his son’s hair. Dave and his brother gave each other a fist bump. Mom and I eyed each other cautiously.

 “I hope you had fun,” John’s father said. “But it’s really time to be going home now.”

 “Yeah, best say your goodbyes and shit,” added Dave’s brother.

 Jade hugged John tightly and kissed him on the cheek. She then did the same to Dave, and then to me. “Bye guys! It was really great!”

 “Bye, Jade,” the rest of us responded, with a little bit of nervous laughter at the display of affection. She hugged her dog again, and they both disappeared with some strange bend of reality.

 “Been a blast, guys,” Dave said. He started to copy Jade with his usual sense of irony, but I pushed him off. He just gave John a fist bump. “Don’t go doin’ anything I wouldn’t do. See ya.”

 “See you online, Dave,” I said, as he left with his brother.

 “Rose?” John turned to me. “Thanks. For everything. This has been the best few days of my life.”

 “You don’t really mean that, John,” I responded. “But thanks. It wouldn’t have been the same without you.”

 “Bye then,” he said, a little tearfully.

 “Goodbye, John,” I replied. Reluctantly, he turned and left with his father to go home.

 

 “So what was it like?” my mother asked me after she’d poured herself a glass of wine. “Did you enjoy yourselves?”

 She most certainly knew about all the chaos that we’d faced. If she really was with those trolls, she must have seen us. She probably wasn’t even listening, so I didn’t answer.

 “Well,” she said, after a few moments, a little flustered. “I’ve got a game for you to play, on your computer. Perhaps you should try it out with your friends?”

 She handed me two envelopes, with what I recognised as the old logos of Sburb printed on the front.

 “The game was cancelled last year,” she continued, “but I managed to get hold of these copies. I gave them to the others, too, so you should all be able to play together. Think, you’ll be playing a game nobody else has ever played. Won’t that be nice?”

 I wasn’t going to take her condescending tone of voice. But I didn’t want to look like the typical rebellious teenager, so I played up my gratitude.

 “Thank you so much, mother! I’m sure we’ll love it!”

 

 I’m not sure I convinced her.


End file.
